Beyond the Glass
by verTori
Summary: She was similar to the them, even if she was human. She joined them, even if she was human. She had a mask, even if she was human. Yet why, why did a human like her ever decide to try and understand the ghouls—even if it risked her life?
1. Alive

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Yay! I remembered this! I own nothing besides my OCs

Xxx

* * *

"_Ah…" _

"_Hmm? What's wrong dear?"_

"_It got taken away…"_

"…_What got taken away?" _

"_The balloon." The child stared up at the darkening sky, watching as the little red balloon drifted away, following the wind. "The wind took it away." _

"_Oh…" The mother paused before smiling, her eyes crinkling slightly with the tilt of her lips. "That's right…the wind took it away." She pulled her child into her embrace, wrapping her arms all around. "And what happens to things that are taken away?" _

_The child shimmied in the warm confinement, snuggling closer to her mother's heat. "It never comes back!" _

_The mother tightened her hold. "Or…?"_

"_Hehe" After nestling comfortably in her mother's arms, the child let out a high-pitched squeal. "You take it back!" _

_The older woman laughed, mirroring the sound of tinkling bells. "Good job, dear." She gripped her child's arms. "Then what happens…" She let out a shaky breath. The bells slowed down, the outside falling, the inside cracking, the echoes disappearing, the sound stopping. "If it decides to leave?" _

_The child clutched at her mother's arms. "Mom, it hurts." She lowly whined, her large eyes peering up at her mother's in a silent plea. "Mom…stop it…"_

_Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. "Come now, dear. I've told you many, many, many times." The mother parted her lips, revealing her teeth in a wide, uplifted tilt of her lips. "I know that you're a…very, very smart little girl." She held the girl close, her grey eyes studying the child's face, marking every twitch of a muscle, any look of doubt, any __**sign**__. _

_The child stared back up at her mother's eye thinking of how it reminded her of the sky; a sky that never cleared. "Then…" Her tiny hands reached up. "You kill it…" She waited. "Or…you find something else." She clapped her hands, giggling at the following echo._

_The mother laughed once more. "Good job, I'm so proud of you! You—my one and only, my dearest darling, my sweetest." She reached for her child's eyes. "Always…remember" She closed her hands around the soft, chubby face; hiding the shining cerulean within. _

"_That I need you the most."_

X

* * *

"Me?"

"Yes, you!"

"I-I don't think so…"

"But I can guarantee that you'll make plenty of cash and get your name plastered all over the boards! You'll be rich and famous, everything that a human could want!"

"Umm…I'll have to pass, sorry."

"Oh, please! You would be _absolutely_ perfect!" The man nodded excitedly, his eyes narrowing down on the shorter girl. He licked his lips, his eyes curving into small slits. "Your looks would fit the bill brilliantly! You would remind anyone of a…delicious cupcake!"

The girl blinked before blowing her bangs. "Thanks, but like I said: I'll pass." She waved him off and walked off, clenching her hands in the pockets of her jacket. _"Oh my god, please don't follow me, please stop bothering me, please stop looking at me like that. I am __**not **__a 'delicious' cupcake."_ She sped up, her legs moving rigidly. _"I'm not even delicious! Well, er…I think so." _

Of course, things just don't work out that way.

"Oh, but please!" The man gripped her arm, his hands tightening their hold. "You won't regret it. Oh no, not at all…" He whispered, his voice lowering into a slither. "Our company _needs_ you, after all."

Crack. She ripped out of his arms, her own lips pointing upwards. "Oh, but please! Your company doesn't need someone like me." She glanced up at the sky.

"Oh dear, the suns setting." She gasped with a hand to her lips, her brows knitting together in a look of concern. "It would be best if we got home. Don't want to stay out too late, you'll know what happens, after all." She winked mockingly.

She did a small wave and ran off into the typical late-night Tokyo crowd. Once surrounded by plenty of people, she stopped, falling into a rigid stance. She gripped her head, shivering. _"Did that just happen?" _She glanced back at the man, watching as he cursed and stalked off snarling. _"Yeah, that just happened._"

The girl looked around at all the types of people that loitered around in the Tokyo buzz of excitement. An excitement that very well didn't appeal to her. Biting her lip, she escaped.

Away from all of them.

Hands in her pockets and a calm look masking her face, the girl walked home, making sure to stick to the shadows and any unnoticeable spot. _"Don't notice me, don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't __**eat **__me" _She shrank into her large black jacket. _"I swear, I'm not tasty." _

The neighborhood trees seemed to loom over her small figure, the blackening night being prickled by the streetlights and nearby homes. At the sight of her abode, she sighed in relief and ran up to the door, opening the lock with a twist of her keys.

"_Home…"_ She clicked the door shut, letting out a held breath. _"But…"_ She looked up at the darkness and shook her head, shivering.

X

* * *

She clamped down on her spoon, mulling over the mundane taste of her bland corn flakes mixed with near-expired milk. _'I can't keep hiding'_ She gulped, her lips tightening in fear. _"I need to…"_ Squeezing her eyes shut, she blinked back her tears. _"I need to look!"_ She slammed her hands down on the wooden table before staring down, immediately catching sight of the deadly white paper.

"Ugh…" She gasped, grasping at her heart. _'There goes this month's pocket cash…'_ Grimacing, she hid the bills away from sight; just to spare her of the misery and pain. _'Why is rent so expensive in Tokyo…'_ She sniffled.

Sighing, she slapped her cheeks and crawled out of her apartment. "Okay…you can do this." She blinked back any fearful or stricken look, steeling her face and stuffing her hands in the familiar fabric of her jacket.

She walked around, inspecting any store for a possible "help wanted" sign or job offer. Anything to help pay her living. Her previous job included serving as a waitress at a café, however the pay was too low for doing all that work and acting.

And then she stopped.

'_Offering part-time employment as waiter…' _She looked to the side of the paper. It was a quaint bookstore and café hybrid. There weren't many customers as compared to the larger, local cafés, however that only sweetened the deal for the short girl. Swallowing her anxiety, she stepped inside.

"Welcome." An old woman crinkled her eyes at the approaching teen, her wrinkled face lifting into a pleasant smile.

"Hello." The teenager tilted her lips in response. "I was wondering about the sign on the window…" She gestured toward the paper.

The elderly nodded. "Ah, yes. As you can see, my little store here has no servers now." She chuckled. "Unfortunately, this old lady can't go running around. Haha, age finally got to me."

"No servers _now_?" The younger female tilted her head.

"Yes…" The old woman looked away. "Hiro-kun was such a young, nice boy. He had such a bright future ahead of him." She trembled, a low raspy sound coming from her throat.

The girl knew where this was going instantly. It was no surprise, of course. She shuffled her feet nervously, not knowing what to do. "Miss—"

"Muramatsu. Please, just call me Muramatsu." The elderly woman swiftly turned around, her smile plastered on face.

The girl blinked. "Ah…Mrs. Muramatsu. Sorry, I just came in for a friend." She tipped her head forward. "I should get going now. Thank you for your time…" She quickly walked out, almost tripping out of the door.

"_Oh my god, two days in a row." _She shivered as she distanced herself away from the store. _'Not the best luck nowadays…Ugh.' _She coughed, thinking of the elderly's story. _'Everything down to a gnat's brow…' _

"Okay…back to work… or finding work." Her shoulders slumped.

X

* * *

"Ugh…" She face-planted onto the table, muttering about her failure at finding a well-paying job. _'Screw this, I'm hungry, penniless, and tired. Maybe pitching a tent outside of campus was a good idea after all…' _

"Koi? Is that Koi?"

She tilted her heads upwards, gazing up at brown eyes wide in amusement. Most likely in amusement at her pain and suffering. "Hide…?" She straightened up and stretched, relieving her aching muscles. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, so it is Koi!" The forever preppy blonde gave a wave followed by his signature happy-go-lucky grin. "Yo!"

Koi blinked. "Okay then, just ignore my question." She shook her head in annoyance.

Hideyoshi scratched the back of his head. "What's your problem? Got something on your mind?"

"I was completely fine until you showed up." She waved him off. _'Attracting too much attention, too much __**attention**_._' _

The teenager screeched. "What!? I always make everything better!"

"Shhhhhh." A nearby stereotypical library woman hushed, her eyes narrowing in frustration at the loud child. "Kids these days. Don't know how to respect other people's privacy." She grumbled, continuing to type on her old-fashioned computer.

'_Thank you, old lady!' _"Uh huh. Right." Koi tilted her lips in a smirk, her half-lidded eyes conveying all the mockery she needed. "So…" She dragged on lazily. "When are you going to answer my question?"

The brightly-dressed male huffed. "I can't go to a library like everyone else without being interrogated?" He pouted, pulling out a nearby chair and joining the female at her small island.

Koi tapped her nails against the wood. "Yeah."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She merely gave him a look, raising a single brow as if to ask him: Are you serious?

"Now what's _that _supposed to mean!?"

"Shhhhhhh."

Hideyoshi flinched, his mouth forming an apologetic smile. "Whoops…"

Koi muffled her laughter just enough so that only the _"idiot" _next to her could hear. "Case in point. Everything's backfiring against you today, Hide." She leaned back into her seat and crossed her arms. "Don't get hit by a car on your way back." She stated jokingly, rocking against her chair.

Hide raised a brow. "Why getting hit by a car? I have a higher chance of being eaten by a ghoul." He crossed his arms behind his head and made himself comfortable in his chair.

Her chair balanced itself with a thud. "Don't say that." Crack. She looked out the window, away from his inquisitive eyes. "Besides, it's not like you don't have a chance of being killed by a human."

The blonde stared at the brunette, analyzing every twitch, move, and word. "I said that I have a _higher _chance of being eaten."

Koi froze, however her eyes stayed the same: sharp and half-lidded. A pregnant silence passed, neither person daring to break the quiet, even if it was natural at a library.

Deciding that enough is enough, Hide let out a soft whistle. "Oh hey, is that Kaneki?" He looked over the other tables, spotting the familiar boy reading a book on a far off couch. He clicked his tongue. "Once again, he's being a bookworm. Seriously, he needs to have more color in his life. It'll do him some good."

Despite not knowing who Hide was talking about, Koi sighed. "There's nothing wrong with being a bookworm. Maybe for him, books are his paint." She followed the blonde's gaze. "Who's the person you're talking about anyway?"

"He's the one on the couch to the far left."

Koi squinted. "Black hair and grey eyes? Small and barely noticeable." _'Sounds like someone I know.' _

"Sounds about right. See, he looks so…so..."

"So fragile?"

Hide blinked. "Um…I was going to say bland but I guess that's true too." He stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "Come on, let's bring some flavor into his day." His mouth opened wide in an uplift, his eyes forming crescents.

The girl stilled for a moment, taking in the bright male's radiance. It wasn't blinding; rather it was welcoming, kind to the eyes, warm to the feel, soft in it's outstretched hands. It offered a lucid sanctuary, pulling those toward it and seeing everything, yet still accepting all.

"_Mom!" _

Yes, it was much like _**that**_. _**That **_which she was evaded from, kept away from out of a spiraling love—an obsessive affection, even. A mere glimpse was a rare treasure, it still is. She shivered, collecting the bricks of her mind and stacking them back together aimlessly.

Koi recoiled, drawing back. _'It's not safe.' _"Um…" She hoped that her reluctance would put off the outgoing Hide.

Unfortunately, he was hard-headed, stubborn, and impossibly difficult to deal with.

"I know you're shy and cautious and all that fun stuff, but I swear you'll be friends in no time." He paused. "Actually, don't hold me to that. Kaneki is super awkward around girls sometimes."

"Um, yeah. Don't you know that I'm super awkward around strangers, especially guys?"

Hide waved her poor attempt of an excuse off. "_Please_, you're Kamii's notorious heart-breaker." He put a hand to his heart. "For both boys and girls." He mumbled lowly, wiggling his eyebrows.

Koi made a sour-look, bile coating her tastes after clearly hearing his suggestive tone. "Oh my god, did you finally lose your mind? What are you smoking?"

"A buttload of colorful fun. Something that Kaneki very dearly needs in his life. Now come on, before we lose our chance to throw paint everywhere." Without even stopping to hear her reply, Hide pulled Koi over to the bookworm, grinning the entire way.

'_I don't think this is going to end well…' _Koi shivered as she was dragged across the library floor, shrinking into her clothing from the curious stares of the other building occupants.

"Oi~ Kaneki!"

"Shhhhhhh"

"Whoops…"

"Eh?" Recognizing the upbeat voice, grey eyes looked up from the book. "Hello, Hide." Kaneki sighed, letting a smile paint his face while shaking his head at the familiar situation. "Really, you need to respect other people's privacy."

The offender sulked, sliding onto the couch and wrapping his arms around his best friend. "But Kaneki~ you were so into your incomprehensible books, I don't think you would have noticed us."

The smaller boy struggled against the confines, his weak arms pushing against the force of hugs. "Ugh—get off, Hide! You just need to actually read one for once, starting now. We're at a library so—" He paused. "Wait, 'us'?"

"Shwes ovah dere." Kaneki stopped pushing Hide's face away. "She's over there. The one trying to blend in with everyone else, look."

"That's not really helping."

Hide sighed, waving his finger. "Jeez Kaneki, you need to pay attention to your surroundings more. You'll be tricked by a ghoul one day, you know. And then off you go, down their stomach."

'_Ugh…' _The currently camouflaged girl glanced over the book she was using as a prop. _'They're being so loud. Wait, what if someone uses Hide's hint and notices me. What if it isn't someone good?! What if because of that one sentence I end up dying!' _Koi shrunk even further into her jacket. _'Wait, what if because I keep hiding that I become noticeable! No one else is doing it, I'll stick out!' _She sucked in a deep breath, attempting to relax her body and smooth out her features.

"Is that a new type of yoga?" She peered up, staring back at bright orange eyes. _'Déjà vu…' _"Hey Kaneki, ever read of this from one of your ridiculous and unnecessary books?"

"How many times do I have to tell you—" Kaneki stopped, staring at the girl currently holding an upside-down book. "Umm…" He flushed, heat rushing to his cheeks and burning his mind. "I-I-I—Um, well. H-Hello." He rigidly bowed, his eyes darting around the room before settling on her small form.

Koi blinked, unable to form a proper response at the fellow teen's introduction. _'Awkward…Hope he doesn't take my silence the wrong way. Wait, I should just say something! Quick, something nice!' _She let out a sheepish smile. "Hello. Nice to meet you."

"Wow, super awkward meeting!" Hide let out a low whistle. "Let's melt the ice with some super-hot coffee. Come on, off to a cafe!"

Kaneki jumped up. "Hey, some people might be busy right now." He seethed. "You can't just pull us along. What if…" He paused, pink dusting his cheeks as he glanced at the girl before averting his eyes.

"Koi. You can call me Koi." She tilted her lips and let out a friendly laugh.

Hide shook his head. "Nope! Stop telling people that, it's not even your real name, Koi."

"Shut up, Hide. You know that I don't like other's saying my full name. It's a stupid mouthful that leads to misunderstandings." She frowned, crossing her arms.

"Please, your name isn't that bad."

"She doesn't need to tell me her name if she doesn't want to." Kaneki sighed, again. "Don't be pushy…"

Koi massaged her temples. "No, it's okay. I'm used to it."

He laughed, fiddling with his fingers behind his back. "U-Umm…yeah, he's really tiring sometimes. But Hide's a really good friend." He smiled, his eyes crinkling. His eyes adopted a far-away look, the kind where you know they were thinking about their past—their childhood, their memories, their life.

His eyes widened before his face went red. "Oh, I forgot to tell you my name. I'm so sorry, that's really rude of me. I'm Kaneki Ken, it's nice to meet you." He mumbled the last part, his voice lowering with each word.

"Look at you two, getting all familiar. See, what did I say Koi!" He laughed loudly, patting her on the back.

X

* * *

"I can't believe you got us kicked out. This is why I interrogated you at the library."

"I knew that was going to happen…It's been too many times to not know."

"Stop ganging up on me!" Hide pouted, holding his head up with his palm. "It's not like I meant for it to happen…"

Koi waved off his excuse. "Whatever…" She sipped her vanilla shake. "…you never answered my question, by the way."

Hide whimpered, face-planting into the table. "I fhwailed myah twest…"

"English, Hide, English." Kaneki sipped his coffee, already knowing.

The blonde slammed his hands down. "I FAILED MY TEST."

"…" Koi just stared back, blinking, while Kaneki just shook his head. _'Wow…I shouldn't even be surprised. He always puts studying last.' _Koi relaxed into her chair, staring down at the fallen human ball-of-energy that was currently crumpling all the napkins in frustration.

Hide sniffed. "I can't believe I failed my test…I thought I was prepared—In fact, I'm usually always prepared!" He slumped, taking up the entire wooden table.

The brown-haired girl recoiled, pushing the blonde away. "There's a reason Kamii is so hard to get into. Besides, the teachers have high-standards."

"I know…At least the teacher let me make it up through an essay."

Kaneki peered over his cup. "Koi-san, you go to Kamii Uni?" He tilted his head, his steel eyes staring passively, a light layer of pink decorating his pale skin.

Koi twitched at the formality. _'Probably just a part of who he is...' _"Yeah. I'm a first year in the Department of Pharmacy." She tapped the plastic holding her drink. "I guessing that Kaneki-san is in the Japanese Literature branch?"

"Ah, yes. How did you know?" He sipped at his coffee, savoring the bittersweet taste coating his tongue and enjoying the small talk as Hide sulked, quieting down for once.

"The book you were reading…" She ran a tongue over her bottom lip, trying to grasp more vanilla sweetness. "It was by Takatsuki Sen, right?"

"I love Takatsuki Sen! Her books are amazing!" Suddenly bursting out, Kaneki's eyes shined and he immediately livened up, ready to engage in 'fan-girling' about his favorite author.

Koi looked abashed, surprised by his sudden enthusiasm over a mystery book author. "Umm…yeah. I read a few of her books before." _'They scared me. Frightened me. Yet, I still kept reading. Had to know, had to find out, had to see, need to understand.' _"They're really…different from the rest of the mystery genre. But, I shouldn't be saying anything. I don't read much anymore."

"It's okay! I completely understand." Kaneki beamed. "She always writes such unique, strange, yet though-provoking stories. I'm currently reading The Black Goat's Egg."

She shrunk back. "Oh, I never heard about that one…Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping up with her work."

Kaneki paused, noticing her shrunken form and darting eyes. "Ah…I'm sorry, my rambling must have bored you." He chuckled nervously. "U-Umm…I just get r-really excited over Takatsuki-sensei. Most people don't really understand though…"

"Oh no, its fine! It was just…Umm…" She fidgeted. "I don't really…interact with people." Crack. "Haha, you were just so happy I didn't really know how to react…" She looked down at her lap, unable to properly form the correct words before shaking her head and smiling up at the taken-aback teenager. "Just socially-awkward is all." _'It's a lot more than that.'_

He blinked, sheepishly smiling at the girl opposite of him. "It's okay, I'm just about as…erm, awkward, as an 18 year-old can get." He scratched the back of his head. "As Hide probably already mentioned, I'm a huge bookworm. I always end up making things awkward…I don't really talk with other people that much either. I much prefer reading. Weird, isn't it Koi-san?"

Koi shook her head, a light smile pasted on her lips. "Not at all! Er, well, I can't exactly relate but I can see how books can be much more safe and interesting to enjoy than spending time with company. Not as awkward."

"Yes, because speaking with books is not awkward at all." Kaneki chuckled. "I'm sorry. No, I don't talk with my books. Please don't think of me like that. Books are just like the…color of my life, I suppose."

'_Another déjà vu.' _Koi gulped down the rest of her drink. "No need to be formal with me, Kaneki-san. We're practically the same age, and it's even more awkward if we keep talking like this." She looked over at the sleeping Hide. "Hide would be proud of my attempts of melting the ice." She flicked his head.

"Owww…stop it, Koi…" The blonde flailed forwards before slumping back onto the table.

Koi rose a brow. Noticing the sudden orange lighting, she checked her phone. "Oh shit, I should get going!" She flushed. "Uh, I mean, er—sorry…" She let out a breathy, nervous chuckle, hugging her bag close to her face.

"I-I'm just gonna go now. I'll see you at Uni—maybe, I don't know. Bye…Kaneki." She shot out of the café, not even bothering to hear his last words.

Kaneki just watched as his new friend (Hopefully it wasn't one-sided) sped out. He sighed, a smile tugging his lips.

"Come on, Hide. Wake up!"

Xxx

* * *

Wow, awkward endings are indeed awkward. I really shouldn't be starting another series but you know what; my imagination is it's own thing and I can't really control it. Haha, I'll just spit out a chapter whenever I'm feeling motivated or creative enough.

Review! It's the energy drink that isn't unhealthy!


	2. Breathe

Long time no see...hahahahahaha...

Anyways, I finally updated as I was struggling with all the ideas in my head and how to connect them with one another and just how I want Koi to evolve as a character and influence the canon characters, specifically Kaneki.

This 1st person POV does not portray the true Koi and is only in the beginning. I will very rarely switch to this POV (it was kind of an accident but...it worked out I hope). I don't want to spoil it all, but Koi is a _very_ complex character that, honestly, wrote herself. It is very difficult to portray her the way she needs to be seen, however, I add in many points within the story that allude to true personality. Some of these hints are very obvious, and the other, more impactful ones are kind of hidden, so keep your eyes stapled open.

Xxx

* * *

"Do you have the notes from Friday?"

I glanced up and smiled nervously. "Ah, Senpai," Gripping my books tightly against my body, I scooted farther away from his looming form. "Of course."

He snorted and held out his hand expectantly. I copied his actions, holding my own hand out in the same entitled gesture, except raising a brow.

"Damn cheapskate." He grumbled, adding a few mumbled words of _why I otta...should've just taken...would've been easy_. He reached into his pockets and started counting his money. I lifted my lips at his sounds. "You're not the only one dealing with college debts, you know."

"Survival of the cheapest." I very happily took his money, sighing at the feeling of those crisp tickets to this month's food money. I almost felt like I was doing something wrong until I realized that my milk was expiring, and that wasn't going to buy itself now was it?

I took out a yellow folder that basically _had _his name printed on it and handed it to the frowning upperclassman. Half of me wanted to laugh at his pissed off expression. The other half wanted to run away to a corner and cry myself into forgetting that I'm undoubtedly screwing my future self over somehow.

The tall male practically snatched the folder, flipped through it, and sighed in defeat. He cursed and put his ticket to an A in his bag. And I knew it was his ticket to an A. I knew for a fact that he comes to class half the time he's paying for—and for what?

I don't know. To be honest, I don't really care for anything except he paid good money for those, might I say, fine, _fine, _notes. It was totally worth it.

That is, basically extorting him of his probably hard earned money for notes that probably shouldn't cost the price of at least 3 dinners at a decent restaurant—per _topic_. We're in the pharmacy department. I don't know what job he has but dang do I want it if he could pay these totally unfair prices at least a few times a month.

I don't even know why he hasn't beat me up and just took my stuff yet. He looks like the type who put kids' heads into toilet bowls for the fun of it in high school. Why my face hasn't been acquainted with fecal water is still a mystery.

I snuck a peek at his profile.

I really hope that stays a mystery, like _really_ hope. I half chuckled half whimpered nervously.

"Koi?"

I jumped and glanced at him, gulping. _'TodaysthedaytodaysthedaytodaysthedayohPLEASEdon'tletitbemexicanmonday'_

"Y-Yes?" Where was my faker-than-fake confidence when I need it?

He suddenly grabbed the top of my head, and I _freaked_.

I swear I didn't mean for it to happen. I just went on autopilot and instinct decided to take control. I didn't mean to shriek so loudly that his glasses should've cracked (How could they not?) Nor did I mean to kick him below the belt (oops) and run away to...here.

How could my body betray me like this? I should've at least ran somewhere normal. But no, my _stupidstupidstupid_ brain decided to take me to an _alleyway_. I could taste the dust in the air, and I could feel little shadows crawling across my back like little spiderlings (they were there!). The gray concrete surroundings practically came out of a horror movie back in the '80s.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't so close the the _14__th_ ward.

Xx

* * *

Koi shivered as she attempted to make her way out of the area. She wanted the Earth to open up right beneath her and suck her body away from the empty streets and abandoned buildings. Everything had a tone of gray—the same shade of a corpse's ashen face. Her internal alarms were blazing at every sight, simply because it was littered with bad signs. It was common sense to avoid places that had trash as the only decoration along the sidewalks, cracks that were infested with _godknowswhat_, and buildings so abandoned Koi was scared to walk by them in fear of being crushed by poor foundations and rotting wood.

Acting on habit, Koi kept close to the dark, places which would draw the least amount of attention. Her eyes blinked once again, and it wasn't long before she realized she was on the verge of crying. It were situations like this that she realized how lacking her self-control was, and the knowledge only pushed her tears further out from the ducts. She wanted to scream and cry and pound the concrete walls and hide in a corner, curled in a ball because that was the only way for her to block out this _crazy, crazy_ world. She wanted to limit her vision and stop being so aware of everything, of the little ants that marched along the streets and the raven that cooed on top of a broken light post and the way the sun seemed to weep along with her as it gradually made its way down.

But Koi knew she could never stop being aware of the world, because if she stopped she would've died at that moment.

Koi choked on her spit as she rolled away from that _largelargeohitcouldcrushmyhead_ hand. All she could see was a looming form of a monster—a monster that was five times her size with spiked blond hair that jutted out and a pristine suit that was too white. It had great big teeth, _'like a shark', _that held a grin so wide she thought it's face would break, but then realized it probably broke other people's faces to make up for it.

Koi choked on a sob when she heard Japanese words. "Hello there, girl. It seems today's my lucky day!"

Fear. That was all Koi could feel. Fear at the realization he was more than a monster, at the looming possibility that in those _largelarge_ hands could've been her head, cracked like the building right beside them and the streets she was laying on and he was standing on.

What should she say? She tried to scream, but her body wasn't working with her again and all that came out was a sob, so choked and gurgled Koi thought her throat was already filled with blood. She imagined that one of those hands found a new home in her stomach and the other in her throat, taking control of her voicebox to make her only say pitiful things. But it was too soon for that, because he had smiled even more at the noise, and Koi realized again that he was more than a monster.

A monster simply killed and ate. He wanted more than that; Koi could tell by the way he flexed his fingers and casually walked closer to her, as if she was nothing but a convenience. He didn't need her for food. He could catch her anytime. He had more than she did. He had muscles and working hands. She had little cardio muscles and a body that only wanted to cry. He had a smile on his face. She didn't know what she had, but it clearly made him smile even more. He had power. Koi never had power. He wasn't desperate, he knew what he had, and he relished in the tipped scales.

Koi was desperate though. She didn't want to die. She ignored everything else around them, and picked herself up.

'_Nevernevernever, I haven't done anything yet.'_

It were those words that she chanted as she broke into a scream and a run and she could feel her heart pound along with her thoughts. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as her brain signalled throughout her body that it was time to survive. She ran across the sidewalk, acting on instinct and hoping that maybe this time her body would do what she wanted because _shewantedtolive_. She swerved into an alleyway, jumping across boxes and crates because _sheneededmoretimeandspace_ away from him.

She wanted to disappear into a crowd and walk away from danger just like those other days.

Where was her caution this time?

The jagged end of a broken pipe tore across her forearm as she ran, and the overwhelming urge to collapse and cry at the searing pain almost buckled her knees. Despite knowing that it would never work, Koi tried to stem the flow of her _sicklyredblood_ by clenching her left hand on it. She knew it was futile by the wet, sticky feeling seeping between her fingers, and she wanted to start crying even harder at the thought that _he could smell her_.

She turned into another connecting alleyway.

"_How many times have I turned?"_

All the turns and curves were beginning to blend together with those walls—_they were the same shade of a corpse—_and the streets and sidewalks were all just a path to _nowhere_. She was aware of everything, right? So where were the noises of cicadas and birds, of the jingle of doors opening and closing, of shoes tapping along the path home, of _people_?

_Therewerenone_

All she could hear was herself.

_Pantpantpant_

_Taptaptap_

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

This time Koi wasn't aware enough, and that _largelarge_ hand closed around her throat and pulled her tiny body into a corner. She wheezed when she was slammed into a wall—_please be crushed by poor foundations and rotting wood_—and she blacked out for a few seconds. He had her against the wall, one hand tightly secure around her throat, loose enough to let her barely catch her breath. His massive frame blocked away the sight of the surrounding gray walls, and all Koi could see were the whites of his wide eyes, teeth, and suit. She didn't know where to look; Every sight made her alarms blare because _she was going to die_.

He leaned closer, his other hand resting beside her head so his body wouldn't crush her.

She was an idiot. An idiot that had lost her life because she was scared of too many things.

He whispered into her ear. "Whats wrong, little girl? You were making so much noise a while ago." She could feel the rough texture of his tongue sliding across the side of her neck and she could hear his breathing, _'it sounded so much like hers'_, flooding her ears.

Koi gagged at the noise; She couldn't scream with his hand controlling her neck like a brace. He chuckled at her pathetic self and brushed a lock of her hair, following the natural curve of her bloated cheeks down to her shoulder. He stroked her arm and slid two fingers around the gash in her arm.

"Come on," He laughed raspily, dragging his tongue on the curve of her ear. "Say some more."

She could only wheeze, and he squeezed her neck harder with each word. "What was that? I can't hear you." Koi clawed at his arm like a mouse desperately struggling against a cat. She could taste the salt from her tears. It streamed down her face, and she could only imagine what it would taste like once it was blood instead.

With each of his chuckles she banged her head against the wall from the _disgustingdisgusting_ sound of his sick amusement. She was his personal entertainer, his class A act, his _toy_.

She felt relief flood her lungs when he finally lessened his grip on her neck before she screamed, a sound so scratchy and coarse. Koi felt every squelch and squeeze from his fingers—the nerves in her arm screeched with every torturous flex of his fingers. She writhed against his hands, clawing at everything she could touch because it felt so painful she wished he would just clamp his teeth against her neck and tear off her arteries.

"I-I-_I—_"

All she could hear beyond the tears of her arm and the blood running down her fingers was that same sound. It was a raspy, dominating _laugh_ that traveled through her ears and the curl of her toes.

And then it stopped, and there was another scream.

Koi felt more blood stream down, but this time it wasn't hers and that made her want to vomit even harder. She felt the cold scratchy surface of the steel pipe gripped by her wet, dirtied fingers. It smelled so _metallic_.

"WHAT DID YOU _DO_!?" She fell to the floor as he stepped away from her, his hands clutching his eyes.

"I-I-_I—"_ There was so much red blossoming in between his _largelarge_ fingers.

He reached towards her, tripping on the discarded pipe. Koi scrambled away from his towering form, watching as his body tumbled down like a ragdoll. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Instead of salt she tasted the rusty tang of blood. She instantly kneeled over and vomited. Everything was so _disgusting. _She didn't bother wiping her mouth. The filth would never leave anyways. Koi panted as she stood up, leaning on the wall, wobbling as she balanced herself. _'I-I can't stay here.'_ She almost slipped on her own blood as she limped away, cradling her arm. _'I-I-I—'_

'_I need to __**live**__' _


End file.
